Emotional intelligence is something that you can find only within yourself. Those who have higher emotional intelligence skills have more control over their emotions.
They will never get stressed out when some crisis comes in front of them; they just calmly handle the situations.
Suppose you know how to develop emotional intelligence. In that case, you will get more aware of your emotions, helping you connect with anyone because you can understand anyone on an emotional level.
If you know how to improve emotional intelligence, you will have more control over your every emotion & you’re aware of your strengths & shortcomings. Having this quality can benefit from much success in any field, whether it’s professional or personal life.
You will be seen as a positive, confident, optimistic, empathic person with whom everybody wants to be around.
Now you have one question in your mind, and I don’t know how to improve my emotional intelligence.
We haven’t been taught how to develop emotional intelligence skills in our life, but they can be learned by repetitive practice every day.
But first, you need to know what emotional intelligence is? Before learning how to improve emotional intelligence within your life.
So let’s what it is all about.
WHAT’S IN IT
- What is Emotional Intelligence?
- Difference between EQ & IQ?
- Observe within yourself
- Observe your reactions
- Try to understand others emotions
- Inspect your Opinions
- Take full responsibility for your actions
- Take full responsibility for your feelings
- Be confident
- Learn from both positive & negative experiences
- Journal every day
- Do meditation
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional Intelligence is also referred to as Emotional Quotient (EQ). It simply means a person is considered to be emotionally intelligent, those who know & aware of their own emotions & at the same time as the others as well.
And by being emotionally intelligent, one can improve their control over their emotions & thoughts, which comes to mind.
They can connect with others on an emotional level due to a deep understanding of emotions & feelings, which can help them make long relationships with others.
Knowing how to improve emotional intelligence skills helps us become more aware of ourselves, connect with others, more confident due to clarity about ourselves & helps us lead a happy life as well.
Difference between EQ ( Emotional Intelligence ) & IQ (Intelligence Quotient)?
As I have mentioned before, EQ is about having a better understanding of our emotions & ourselves better. If one knows how to improve emotional intelligence skills, then it helps us to connect with others & allows us to express our feelings easily due to clarity.
On the other hand, Intelligence Quotient(IQ) is the term with which people are more familiar than EQ. It is the term that is constantly being referred to when someone is talking about intelligence.
It can be measured through some tests or exams, which we are all familiar with.
So now you get the basic idea of what Emotional Intelligence is? Now the question is how to develop emotional intelligence skills?
Below I’ve compiled a list of ways from which anyone can self-taught themselves to become emotionally intelligent.
11 Ways to Improve your Emotional Intelligence are-
Observe within yourself:
Start your journey of finding emotional intelligence by observing how you feel. We often tend to be so busy in our chaotic life, career obligations, family obligations & social media world that we don’t even focus our emotions.
Like-Why, we are feeling that emotion in that particular moment. To regain our touch with our feelings, you have to make time for yourself in peace.
Sit in a quiet place for about 5-10 min at the beginning days & just observe what kind of thoughts are floating around in your mind. Don’t try to hold back; let any emotions or feelings come & watch how you feel when that thought comes into your mind.
Try to make time for yourself daily for at least 5 min. & do it.
The more you do it, the better you understand your reaction against certain situations; you’ll be on the path to knowing how to develop emotional intelligence skills more deeply.
Observe your reactions:
When you sit down with your thoughts quietly, many incidents pass through your mind day-to-day; some past trauma, happy moments let it pass calmly.
When thoughts keep coming, try to observe your behaviour towards specific incidents or opinions which may occur in your life like- Why have you snapped when your colleague says something about your life? Is the reason for your snapping because you don’t like to talk about your personal life? Or something else is bothering you at that time?
By analysing your behaviour in every event which happened in your life, you will get to know more about yourself & you’ll get more emotionally aware.
And from the next time, you will be in more control over your emotions & behaviour towards others as well.
Try to understand others emotions:
The most significant sign of an emotionally intelligent being is that they understand others’ feelings & emotions; they are emotionally aware. While having a conversation with others, they also consider their feelings as well.
So start trying to be more empathetic towards others’ emotions while you interact with them. You can do this by asking them their opinions about the topic you’re talking about, showing them that you care about them.
Inspect your Opinions:
In today’s world, very few of the population have their own opinions; most people follow herd opinions.
Those who know how to improve emotional intelligence in their life always have their own original opinions. So try to inspect your thoughts about everything; why do you have that opinion? Is that your own belief, or it’s due to the herd mentality?
You should inspect those opinions, which you think that idea can’t be wrong & question each & every thought you have in your life. And in the process, you’re getting more aware of yourself.
Take full responsibility for your actions:
Those who have awareness within themselves take full responsibility for their actions. They never run away from being responsible if they have committed mistakes; instead of running away, they immediately own it.
So if you have dealt with some situations poorly, committed a mistake, then own it & accept that you did it & learn from your mistakes.
Take full responsibility for your feelings:
Those who are emotionally evolved take full responsibility for their every action, even for the emotions or feelings.
However, you are feeling & reacting according to them; only you are accountable for it, no one else. When you start to take responsibility for every action of yours, your approach toward life will make me more optimistic.
The thing is with emotional intelligence is the more you practice, the more you get clarity. And when someone got clarity about who they are? They feel confident & they seem like a confident person.
Start practising by expressing your need, want & feelings to other people with confidence, so they know your stand.
Learn from both positive & negative experiences:
The emotionally intelligent person acknowledges both positive & negative emotions that they experience from different situations.
When they experience a positive event in their life, they celebrate it & appreciate it. The positivity from this helps us to go through any adversities.
At the same time, they acknowledge adverse events also. If appreciating good times in your life is essential, you also need to recognise bad events.
Because it gives us the strength to be able to tackle the negative issues in the future.
Journal every day:
Try to write a journal in a diary about your daily experiences, emotions that you have felt. Putting your everyday experiences in a journal is a great way to develop awareness about your feelings & thoughts.
In your journal, just write down your daily experiences in it like-why I react like that when that joke isn’t even on me? I should’ve helped my colleague with the work at that time.
The more you write daily, the more you get associated with your thoughts. And you’ll get more grasp with your thoughts & feelings.
When you’re feeling emotional, angry, stressed & you justify the reason behind that emotion is your work or anything present in the outside world.
Emotions all come from within & if you don’t pause & resolve one feeling at a time, it will become a stack of emotions.
The best solution to resolve all the emotional mess is meditation. Sit down still with your thoughts & try to find the actual reason you’re feeling in a certain way.
You won’t get the answer in just one try; you have to practice it daily & the more you do it daily, the more clarity you get in your thoughts.
For beginners, 5mins is more than sufficient to do meditation.
If your question is how to develop emotional intelligence fast? It’s simple. Practice! Developing Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is not a one time process; it’s a lifetime process. The more you practice it, the more you get better at it.
As I’ve repeated in this blog, emotional intelligence gives you more awareness about your thoughts, feelings, emotions & you have more clarity about yourself.
And anyone can learn it like other skills, but it’s a lifetime process; you have to learn it till you live.
“The more you’ll get to know about yourself, the less you will realise how less you know about yourself.”
Also, you can read our blog on Helping your people developing Emotional intelligence